Whole 'Lot' of Feh

Believe me, I was ready to eat my hat with cheese on it if Jerry O'Connell, star of Kangaroo Jack, had made a great showing on tonight's On The Lot. Last week's top vote-getter, Jason "Too Cool to Spell 'Room' Correctly on National Television" Epperson, won the right to cast Jerry in his road-themed film to be shown tonight. Jason's been 50/50 so far in my opinion. He's shown good technique, but even in that regard has been getting sloppy. His recent film about old-age breakdancers had the most unintelligible dialogue since Clan of the Cave Bear. He's shown comparative restraint with the use of style and has a good touch for comedy, but he's still got the stink of the bad taste he put in our mouths with his first film that was seemingly making fun of a mentally-challenged person (Jason would want me to say he was just a nerd...No, bro, I'm a nerd. Take a look over at Zach, he's a nerd too. That character of yours was retarded).

But, he got the most votes, so Jason gets Jerry, and to his credit, Jerry acquitted himself nicely. He wasn't playing King Lear, just a guy it turns out is playing a joke on a buddy, but he nailed all one and a half dimensions the story gave him and was a good enough sport to show up for the live show in support (speaking of which, did you spot John Ratzenberger in the crowd? Get him to do one of these films!). Any harm done in Jason's film was done by Jason himself. The story was flat, didn't have a middle or a very good beginning or ending, and in the end the purposely vague dialogue didn't fit what the characters were doing anyway. In fact, it was so unrelated to the story that it's possible the entire script could qualify for special classification as the longest non-sequitor uttered.

I have a feeling Jason's fans will keep him around, though. Sam's film was stronger than last time, but not by much; Zach actually made a sequel to the film that almost knocked him off the show last week; and even my boy Will didn't hit all targets with his film about a car that gets revenge on its ungrateful owner (How ironic that the guy who has been characterizing nonverbal characters all along is told by the guest judge that he wished the car had more personality). Adam's film ran first and played at that point like it was potentially the weakest of the bunch, but against the pack this week, his film seems the most like a sure ticket to the final four.

Pick for final three: Will, Jason and Zach.