Rumination/Illumination

I feel like I've spent the last week in post-Nicholl recovery, after diving into the two submissions I needed to tweak with as much energy as I could bring them. Work, well, it's what it has been. Does anybody really like their job when they're itching like mad to do something else? I could probably be in a great job and still be feeling like I've got to tunnel under the wall, evade the Germans and jump a motorcycle over barbed wire to get to what I've wanted to be doing for twenty years.

Why haven't I done so before now, then? What's been the hold-up?

I know I've got some amount of talent for this and I've worked on my technique. I'm still weak on breaking a story in an expedient fashion, having most of the ideas I start pounding out into screenplays germinate in my head for years before typing FADE IN:. I've never taken a class in screenwriting per se, the closest being a class in my last year of college on writing for TV, radio and film. That course did inspire me to continue writing, but it didn't give me any real-world instruction into breaking into the market. In retrospect, I'm not sorry I didn't try breaking in then; my writing was weaker than now and although I was mostly unencumbered personally (yes, mostly...That's another story that might not make these pages), taking a run at it by moving to L.A. and pounding the pavement would not have been the right move. After all, Goldman had always said you can write the first one (that sells) anywhere.

The funny thing is, the one advantage I could have had and used is my good friend that I'll call Produced Screenwriter (oh yes, I'm imaginative). I've referred to P.S. before, he connected me with the disappearing producer a month or so ago, and he's been at this for fifteen years now. He's had stumbles and successes that I have learned from and he's invited me repeatedly to make the trip out and bunk up at his place if I need. Again, what's the holdup? I wanted to have the right ammo before heading out to battle, and until now, I flat out haven't committed myself to get it together. I just hope by the time I'm done, the invite still stands.

So where am I in my sample stable? I've got those two scripts I've submitted for the Nicholl, horror-comedy Underground and thriller Brother's Keeper. I'm about 20 pages into I.O.U., a romantic action-comedy set in NYC, and I think my next project will be either the Western titled Bow's End I've been percolating or a new comedy project titled Los Cubanos. I think I'm in pretty good shape there.

The hitch for me remains the daygig, which due to its odd hours and subject-to-change schedule is difficult to plot a routine around, especially for a poor personal planner like me. I'm a laissez-faire type of guy when it comes to hocking the boss, plus I've got four other people at my level who potentially would hock the boss for their own scheduling needs, so a remedy for this seems far off.

In the end, however, I can see from the perspective these two months has given me that the moderate amount of dedication I've given this path has made it so much clearer to proceed. I'm excited to see what just another month will bring and feel renewed passion for seeing what I can put down on the page.